wonderful town
pa** the football
lyrics

Look at me now

Four years of college

Famous professors

Tutoring me Scholarship kid

Everything paid for

Food and vacations

All of it free Day that I left

Everyone gathered

Their cheering still rings in my ears Ray Wreck rah

Rah Wreck Ray

Rah Wreck

Wreck rah

Rah Wreck, Wreck

Wreck, we love you 'Cause I could pa** that football

Like nothin' you have ever seen Couldn't spell a lick

Couldn't do arithmetic

One and one made three

Thought that dog was C A T But I could pa** that football

Like nothin' you have ever seen Couldn't write my name

Couldn't translate 'je vous aime'

Never learned to read

Mother Goose or Andre Gide But I could pa** that football

Like nothin' you have ever seen Couldn't figure riddles

Puzzles made me pout

Where the hell was Moses

When the lights went out? I couldn't even tell red from green

Get those verbs through my bean

But I was buddies with the dean

Like nothin' you have ever seen Pa**ed without a fuss

English Lit. and Calculus

Never had to cram

Even pa**ed the bar exam 'Cause I pa**ed that football

Like nothin' you have ever seen Couldn't dance for beans

Mashed my girls to smithereens

Sometimes blood was spilled

Still my card was always filled 'Cause I could pa** that football

Like nothin' you have ever seen Then there was the week

Albert Einstein came to speak

'Relativity'

Guess who introduced him? Me 'Cause I could pa** that football

Like nothin' you have ever seen Had no table manners

Used to dunk my roll

Always drunk the water from the fingerbowl Though I would not get up for any she

The prexy's Mom, age ninety-three

Got up and gave her seat to me

Like nothin' you did ever see In our hall of fame

There's a statue with my name

There we stand, by heck

Lincoln, Washington and Wreck 'Cause I could pa** that football